I want to look back with fond memories. I want to be 11 again. I wish I could relive it all again. I wish I had taken every opportunity to learn as much as I could before it was too late. But I can't. Watching the tv, my memory wants to take me back to a time where an accent hurt, a picture could tear me apart and a smile could send me tumbling down into a deadly spiral. I don't want to let it, but the more I try, the more it pulls and tugs at my heart. I don't want to remember what he put me through. But that place. That place was made of fairytales. It could make your dreams appear like nightmares with it's magical charm and cause your imagination to run riot with the history and lore. The sheer beauty of the country is enough to bring tears to a glass eye and if I could go to one place, I'd go back there just to see the views from the causeway, the point and the hill behind the prison. It sounds sad, but I miss the scenery and wish I'd taken photographs of my favourite places. Maybe that's why I depend on my camera so much now. Maybe I've learnt. But I feel very nostalgic tonight for a place I'll never see again. Shame.
On a lighter note, I've decided that cookery will be my career choice. Food is an obsession for me. I love cooking it, eating it, serving it, experimenting with it, smelling it, and everything else you can imagine. Well, within reason. I just want to cook and cook and cook. I want to keep challenging myself to try making new things and I'm determined to do it. Firstly, I need to buy more ingredients, new pans and dishes and tins, then get going and cook stuff! The thought alone makes my tastebuds tingle!
So, I bid you adieu for a night. I'm hoping to make a nice roast tomorrow and maybe bake something as well.
Tally ho. x
