Oh I wish it was. Instead, I'm stuck in this hell-hole with nothing to do except watch Supernatural and wait for something exciting to happen. Of course, the likelyhood of that happening is very very slim. So I'm just stuck here doing nothing, basically. Gotta love being here on my own, huh.
Today, I wanted everything to be ok and wanted to feel a bit happier than I did last night, but obviously my wishes won't be fulfilled, so I give up on all that. My life will be whatever it wants to be, regardless of what I do, so I'm not going to bother trying anymore. There's no point. Nothing I do changes anything. I'm powerless.
I give up. If anyone wants to give me advice on how to feel "better", then please, drop me a line. I'm asking for help. For once in my life, I actually am asking. Help me.
D.
Wednesday 26 May 2010
Saying Goodbye
I'll admit it now: saying goodbye to him anytime is difficult. Beyond difficult. It tears me up inside. But this morning? I couldn't even go through to hear his vehicle pull away. The thought of it brought me to tears, broke my heart, and even just thinking about it now, it's got the tears rolling down my cheeks. Even they sound depressed, the way they drop heavily to my quilt. I can't do it anymore. I can't put myself through this any longer. I don't know what I can or want to do, but something has to be done so that I don't hurt this much every time we say goodbye.
Gah.
And I had to re-pierce my ear tonight. It healed up while I was trying to put a hoop through it, so just had to go with another bar and force it through. Stingy, but it's ok now. Went very very lightheaded in the bathroom, and collapsed for a min, but was ok and came back to bed. Only wish I'd had a cuddle :(
Night folks. I'm getting too depressed to keep writing a blog. I'll be back sometime.
Dawn0fTheMoon.
Gah.
And I had to re-pierce my ear tonight. It healed up while I was trying to put a hoop through it, so just had to go with another bar and force it through. Stingy, but it's ok now. Went very very lightheaded in the bathroom, and collapsed for a min, but was ok and came back to bed. Only wish I'd had a cuddle :(
Night folks. I'm getting too depressed to keep writing a blog. I'll be back sometime.
Dawn0fTheMoon.
Monday 24 May 2010
May Catch-Up
I know it's not quite the end of May, but it's not far away so I think it's time I did a wee summary and let you know what we're up to, how things are going and such.
Well, as you know, I started a new diet. That's finished. I've been pretty unwell the past few days, so I'm a bit suspicious about the Acai berry pills - I don't think they're agreeing with me, so will stick to the SlimFast once I'm feeling a bit better. It's no fun not being able to eat anything because you're scared of being sick :( It really sucks. Being away from home and not being able to eat is even worse :(
So the weekend sucked quite a lot. But. I had my wonderful other half there to look after me. Where would I be without him, eh? He's so good to me, and I still can't quite take it in that he's mine, and we love each other. I've finally met my match and I couldn't be happier. My life is complete: I have the greatest friends, the most loving and loyal boyfriend and I don't know what more I could actually ask for. I'm a happy girl. Shame about the tears when he leaves me at night :( It's normally after we've been together for a few days at a time, so can you blame me? I'm gonna miss my cuddles tonight :(
So, I'm off to watch some Supernatural. I'm up early for college, but only going to my first class since I've been unwell. I don't think it's wise that I stick around for too long incase I'm contagious. You never know...
I'm so excited for tomorrow. College then seeing my man. I really can't wait to see him. I swear, we were made for each other. Everything's so perfect with us, it's unreal. It's as though we've been friends all our lives and have been best friends for years. It's like nothing I've ever felt before.
Anyways, time for sleep now. Roll on tomorrow!
D-d-d-d-d-d-Jiggles.
Well, as you know, I started a new diet. That's finished. I've been pretty unwell the past few days, so I'm a bit suspicious about the Acai berry pills - I don't think they're agreeing with me, so will stick to the SlimFast once I'm feeling a bit better. It's no fun not being able to eat anything because you're scared of being sick :( It really sucks. Being away from home and not being able to eat is even worse :(
So the weekend sucked quite a lot. But. I had my wonderful other half there to look after me. Where would I be without him, eh? He's so good to me, and I still can't quite take it in that he's mine, and we love each other. I've finally met my match and I couldn't be happier. My life is complete: I have the greatest friends, the most loving and loyal boyfriend and I don't know what more I could actually ask for. I'm a happy girl. Shame about the tears when he leaves me at night :( It's normally after we've been together for a few days at a time, so can you blame me? I'm gonna miss my cuddles tonight :(
So, I'm off to watch some Supernatural. I'm up early for college, but only going to my first class since I've been unwell. I don't think it's wise that I stick around for too long incase I'm contagious. You never know...
I'm so excited for tomorrow. College then seeing my man. I really can't wait to see him. I swear, we were made for each other. Everything's so perfect with us, it's unreal. It's as though we've been friends all our lives and have been best friends for years. It's like nothing I've ever felt before.
Anyways, time for sleep now. Roll on tomorrow!
D-d-d-d-d-d-Jiggles.
Sunday 23 May 2010
Day 2 of the Diet
Well, I had breakfast this morning, and two acai torpedoes. Lunch was a baked potato with tuna, sweetcorn and a little cheese, with another two torpedoes. After college, I had a sandwich - prawn mayo - and a bag of wotsits, and most of a 75cl bottle of water. Dinner was a bowl of pasta, with tuna and sweetcorn and a big bottle of water, as well as 2 more acai pills. I've actually put on weight today apparently, but my scales have never been that consistent, so I won't take it personally. However, I might up the ante and add another element into the diet. If it works, great. If not, DON'T try it at home! I'll keep you informed.
Monday 17 May 2010
Diet
Yes folks, I've finally started a new diet. I know it's taken a long time to do it, but this is it. I'm on it now, and will stick to it for as long as I need to. I'm off to weigh myself, and then I'll update you on how heavy I am and how much I want to lose. 2 minutes! *runs to scales*
I'm 15 stone 6 pounds. I'm ashamed! But, given my weight after leaving the gym, it's not that much more. So, let's set a target weight loss. 2 stone? I think that would be enough. My goal weight is therefore: 13 stone 6 pounds. But hang on, I just ate dinner... I had a pint of water and 3 fish fingers, a potato waffle, and 1/2 a small tin of sweetcorn. So let's assume that I'm actually 15 stone 5 pounds. I want to be 13 st. 5 pounds, in that case.
So this new diet. I'm cutting out junk as much as possible, though I'm not going to deny myself a wee treat now and then. I'm also not going to go running all the time. Walks with the man, yes, but not running for the hell of it. That's just pointless. Plus, with this growth on a nerve in my foot, it's not advisable to be putting extra strain and pressure on it. So, moderate exercise, and smaller portions, no fizzy drinks (sparkling water is allowed), low calorie versions of stuff, and I'm only allowed to migrate from the healthy diet when I'm at festivals or away for the weekend. Then I can allow myself to slip a little.
Oh, and I forgot to mention. I'm also taking the "Acai and Exotic Fruit" supplement to see if this diet really works. I've read hundreds of the daft ads online saying that "yes it worked for me, get your free sample here". I just don't believe a word of it. They're all paid to write that crap. But, my loyal followers, you know I don't get paid to do this. Hell, if I did, I'd give up everything and just write LOTS of blogs. HA! That would actually be rather difficult. I know I'm random and have some good rants, but that's taking the biscuit really.
Jeez, I went a little off topic there, didn't I?
Anyways, I'm going to go for now, my lovelies. I'll be back on tomorrow to report on the night ahead, if anything changes or if I turn blue or anything weird. I must say, I'm quite peckish, but going to get a glass of water and start drinking that to see if it helps.
Bye for now.
D.x
I'm 15 stone 6 pounds. I'm ashamed! But, given my weight after leaving the gym, it's not that much more. So, let's set a target weight loss. 2 stone? I think that would be enough. My goal weight is therefore: 13 stone 6 pounds. But hang on, I just ate dinner... I had a pint of water and 3 fish fingers, a potato waffle, and 1/2 a small tin of sweetcorn. So let's assume that I'm actually 15 stone 5 pounds. I want to be 13 st. 5 pounds, in that case.
So this new diet. I'm cutting out junk as much as possible, though I'm not going to deny myself a wee treat now and then. I'm also not going to go running all the time. Walks with the man, yes, but not running for the hell of it. That's just pointless. Plus, with this growth on a nerve in my foot, it's not advisable to be putting extra strain and pressure on it. So, moderate exercise, and smaller portions, no fizzy drinks (sparkling water is allowed), low calorie versions of stuff, and I'm only allowed to migrate from the healthy diet when I'm at festivals or away for the weekend. Then I can allow myself to slip a little.
Oh, and I forgot to mention. I'm also taking the "Acai and Exotic Fruit" supplement to see if this diet really works. I've read hundreds of the daft ads online saying that "yes it worked for me, get your free sample here". I just don't believe a word of it. They're all paid to write that crap. But, my loyal followers, you know I don't get paid to do this. Hell, if I did, I'd give up everything and just write LOTS of blogs. HA! That would actually be rather difficult. I know I'm random and have some good rants, but that's taking the biscuit really.
Jeez, I went a little off topic there, didn't I?
Anyways, I'm going to go for now, my lovelies. I'll be back on tomorrow to report on the night ahead, if anything changes or if I turn blue or anything weird. I must say, I'm quite peckish, but going to get a glass of water and start drinking that to see if it helps.
Bye for now.
D.x
Tuesday 4 May 2010
The Frog and the Wig
Ok, so this thing asked me for a story about a frog and a wig. I wrote one, and then it told me it was too long. So here it is. And don't blame me if it's random. The title is strange enough.
The Frog and the Wig
Once upon a time, there was a frog named Gary. He lived in a meadow by the river with his mummy and his daddy, and during the day he'd sit paddle in the pond, and by night he'd be tucked up in his leafy bed, where he'd watch the stars through his little window. When Gary was born, he was different from all the other frogs who were blessed with glorious long locks of hair. Some frogs had oak brown hair, while some had firey red hair. But poor Gary was born with no hair at all, and he was bullied by the other little frogs for being bald. It wasn't his fault that he'd not grown any; it was his daddy's for being a numpty.
One night, a fairy appeared in Gary's room. "Go away, you weirdo!" he shouted, but the fairy ignored his cry and fluttered nearer the bed.
"Young Gary," he said, "you have been born with no hair and the young frogs make fun of you. Is this true?" Gary looked at the fairy, completely conzuffled by what he was witnessing: a guinea pig in a tutu, with a sparkly wand and limp wrists, a sight only seen on street corners at 3am.
"It's true," replied Gary.
"Well, young Gary. I am here to help," the fairy said, standing up from the bed. With a swish of his wand, a cloud of smoke appeared, and when it cleared, the fairy held out his hand for Gary to see. And in his hand were the most luxurious locks of hair that Gary had ever seen before, in a crimson so red, his blood would be envious. Gary smiled gleefully at the fairy as he stretched out to touch the silky wig.
"This is for you," the fairy said, handing the wig to Gary. "Go and be happy, find a nice girl and settle down. I never managed!"
So Gary took the hair, put it on his head and went out into the night in search of his true love, and the fairy went home happily to have a cuppa with his slave.
The End.
The Frog and the Wig
Once upon a time, there was a frog named Gary. He lived in a meadow by the river with his mummy and his daddy, and during the day he'd sit paddle in the pond, and by night he'd be tucked up in his leafy bed, where he'd watch the stars through his little window. When Gary was born, he was different from all the other frogs who were blessed with glorious long locks of hair. Some frogs had oak brown hair, while some had firey red hair. But poor Gary was born with no hair at all, and he was bullied by the other little frogs for being bald. It wasn't his fault that he'd not grown any; it was his daddy's for being a numpty.
One night, a fairy appeared in Gary's room. "Go away, you weirdo!" he shouted, but the fairy ignored his cry and fluttered nearer the bed.
"Young Gary," he said, "you have been born with no hair and the young frogs make fun of you. Is this true?" Gary looked at the fairy, completely conzuffled by what he was witnessing: a guinea pig in a tutu, with a sparkly wand and limp wrists, a sight only seen on street corners at 3am.
"It's true," replied Gary.
"Well, young Gary. I am here to help," the fairy said, standing up from the bed. With a swish of his wand, a cloud of smoke appeared, and when it cleared, the fairy held out his hand for Gary to see. And in his hand were the most luxurious locks of hair that Gary had ever seen before, in a crimson so red, his blood would be envious. Gary smiled gleefully at the fairy as he stretched out to touch the silky wig.
"This is for you," the fairy said, handing the wig to Gary. "Go and be happy, find a nice girl and settle down. I never managed!"
So Gary took the hair, put it on his head and went out into the night in search of his true love, and the fairy went home happily to have a cuppa with his slave.
The End.
Monday 3 May 2010
May's Beginning
Here we are in May. ALREADY?! Jeez, this year is disappearing fast. It feels like only yesterday I was at Carrbridge and celebrated the New Year. But now, I've been to Oban, found my perfect match, won some competitions, and am preparing for Strichen - start of the festival season. How did that happen? Oh well! :) it's passed so quickly because I have the best people by my side. All my friends and family, thank you for being there. And to my man: thank you for standing by me, regardless of how many times you've had to drag things out of me when I'm down. I'd be lost without you now, and I hope you'll be around for a long time to come.
Now, you know we're in May. If you don't, go see your GP because you've lost track of time by a long way. Being in May, we're lambing, and it's kinda hectic. We have currently got 7 pet lambs at home, and two fields full of pregnant mummy's and baby's being born every day. I just hope they all lamb soon so that we don't have to worry any more. There's only one massive problem that we have: there's a fox at home and one down the road that keep eating the lambs. For all you do-gooders and animal lovers/protectors/ninny's: LOOK WHAT THEY'RE DOING?! We have lambs go missing every day, some left wounded so badly that we have to kill them ourselves. You have a problem with killing foxes? I have a problem with them killing our animals. "It's only natural", you say? Tough. Those bloody animals are just a nightmare, and we need shot of them (no pun intended), and to be honest, I don't care what you all say. I'm happy to admit that we do kill foxes. If they're eating our livestock, we're going to give them a bullet where the sun doesn't shine, regardless of what you lot say. If you care so much about them, go take them home into your back garden, and keep them there. Don't let them out of your sight and make sure they don't eat any of our animals.
Jeez, that was some rant, huh?!
Anyways, on another topic, the man and me are doing really well together :) He's been amazing with me and my dad through lambing, helping out where he can and coming with me to check them when dad's away doing other things to catch up with the crops. Not that they're running away, but the farming season has been a bit hindered by all the snow and that. And now that a certain someone has (nearly) butted out and left us alone, we're getting on so much better. I just hope she keeps her word and lets us be, because we're getting on great. Better than great. We're just a perfect match, made for one another. Yippee!! And yes, he's got me into saying that now. GAH! I love him anyways, so I don't mind.
Anyways, I think it's time to rest my weary head. I've done a lot of thinking these past couple of days, so will be glad to get back to college and relax a bit! Good thing I'm seeing the man tomorrow as well. Get my cuddles (:
Never thought my heart would feel this way. Love you, babe (: Always in my mind, forever in my heart.
D-d-d-d-d-d-Jigglez. x
Now, you know we're in May. If you don't, go see your GP because you've lost track of time by a long way. Being in May, we're lambing, and it's kinda hectic. We have currently got 7 pet lambs at home, and two fields full of pregnant mummy's and baby's being born every day. I just hope they all lamb soon so that we don't have to worry any more. There's only one massive problem that we have: there's a fox at home and one down the road that keep eating the lambs. For all you do-gooders and animal lovers/protectors/ninny's: LOOK WHAT THEY'RE DOING?! We have lambs go missing every day, some left wounded so badly that we have to kill them ourselves. You have a problem with killing foxes? I have a problem with them killing our animals. "It's only natural", you say? Tough. Those bloody animals are just a nightmare, and we need shot of them (no pun intended), and to be honest, I don't care what you all say. I'm happy to admit that we do kill foxes. If they're eating our livestock, we're going to give them a bullet where the sun doesn't shine, regardless of what you lot say. If you care so much about them, go take them home into your back garden, and keep them there. Don't let them out of your sight and make sure they don't eat any of our animals.
Jeez, that was some rant, huh?!
Anyways, on another topic, the man and me are doing really well together :) He's been amazing with me and my dad through lambing, helping out where he can and coming with me to check them when dad's away doing other things to catch up with the crops. Not that they're running away, but the farming season has been a bit hindered by all the snow and that. And now that a certain someone has (nearly) butted out and left us alone, we're getting on so much better. I just hope she keeps her word and lets us be, because we're getting on great. Better than great. We're just a perfect match, made for one another. Yippee!! And yes, he's got me into saying that now. GAH! I love him anyways, so I don't mind.
Anyways, I think it's time to rest my weary head. I've done a lot of thinking these past couple of days, so will be glad to get back to college and relax a bit! Good thing I'm seeing the man tomorrow as well. Get my cuddles (:
Never thought my heart would feel this way. Love you, babe (: Always in my mind, forever in my heart.
D-d-d-d-d-d-Jigglez. x
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