Dandyness

Good morning, world. How are we all? I'm rather dandy... well, no, I'm not. I'm tired, and hungry. I'm starving, in fact. I could eat the entire contents of my fridge right now, but I won't do that. I've put on enough weight in the past couple of months, without eating any more. I'm cutting back on how much food I eat at a time. Last night, I made some chips - a small handful - along with 3 fish fingers and a bag of vegetables. I felt quite good after that. I'm going to drink lots of juice from now on, to stop myself eating quite so much. I'm also impressed with the fact that I've not eaten the bar of Milka chocolate that I have in my handbag. I've resisted it with very little trouble.

Now, some good news. He's here! After 5 long, long days, my man is here and I couldn't be happier. It's just a shame he's going to bed soon since he's up at 10.30 for work :( I'm just thrilled to see him. He's made me feel 100x better than I have done since Sunday, and that's only by showing up. Imagine how I feel every time he touches me, kisses me, holds me... It takes my breath away every time. He just makes me happy inside. I get all warm and fuzzy and can't stop smiling at all. When he leaves, I'm usually ok, but sometimes I cry because I'm going to miss him so much. Usually it's only a matter of hours before we see each other again, but this last time, it was days. Horrible, long, tiring, deadening days, where I'd cry myself to sleep thinking about him and wondering what he was doing, if he was thinking of me, if he was still happy when away from me. It's ridiculous, I know, but I can't help it. I think about the wierdest things anyway, let alone when I'm on my own and lonely, or away from him in general.

I just love him. What can I say. He's the best thing to happen to me, and I hope he sticks around for a long, long time.

D-d-d-d-loved.x

Smitten

It's been a long week. Since Sunday, I've not seen my man, and I'm missing him so much. I can't even watch a good film without wanting to curl into him and be in his arms. I'm watching PS I Love You, and it just got to the bit where Jerry was back in the apartment with his arms round Holly. It made me want him here even more than I thought possible - it actually made me cry. I have the feeling that I may cry when I see him tomorrow. I'm even welling up as I type this. It's ridiculous, isn't it. I just want him so badly. I've never wanted someone's arms around me as much as I want his. I feel safe when I'm with him, when he's holding me. In his arms, everything's ok, nothing can harm me as long as he's around. Life right now is amazing. If only he was coming home to me every night...

Anyways, I did my exam today, so I'm relieved it's over. I think it went well, so here's hoping that I've passed my grade 8 Scottish Fiddle. All I need to do now, is write the reports for the recordings I did, and the live performance and one set that I did during the performance. That shouldn't take me too long, so I'll start that tomorrow when I've slept. It might be a good plan, huh. I've not exactly had much sleep lately, so I really need a long lie, but I'm not going to get one until Sunday. It's ok though, because my man'll be here, and we'll both get to sleep in a bit. Either that, or we go to sleep early on Saturday night after a few drinks and films, then get up early-ish and go to the market for a wee day out. Maybe even go for a walk to the place we went on our first date, or we could do that on my birthday. I don't know, but it's something I'd like to do again.

Ahhhh I'm smitten (: He's just lovely and wonderful and loving and mine. That's right. No one else is getting him. I love him to bits, and I wouldn't change him for the world. Anyways, I better go to sleep. I'm tired and got another long day ahead of me. I love you, babe, and I always will. I just hope you read this at some point. You're my world.

Night world.

D-d-d-d-d-Jiggles.x

June.. Oh dear..

Well this year is literally flying past. June is here, and it's my birthday next month and I haven't got a clue what I'm doing for it. Maybe we'll go to the beach or something, or maybe on a wee road trip. Honestly, I don't know, but we'll think of something to do before then.

I'm round at the mans just now, and was yesterday as well. It's amazing just being with him, and the fact that he's always going to be there for me is slowly sinking in. If I get down, he knows about it, and makes me tell him what's wrong. Sometimes it takes a while, but I'm getting better at opening up and I'm getting better in general. He's never let me down yet, and I don't know what I'd do without him in my life now. I can't imagine being without him now, and to be honest, I don't want to imagine it.

Having spent most of the evening asleep with him, and only really getting a cuddle right before he got up, I kinda miss him. And if you're wondering why I'm typing this and not still sleeping, that's because I'm actually awake after he got up to get ready for work. He probably doesn't like waking me, but tough. That's the way I like it.

He's out of the shower and texting me from downstairs. I can smell him... does that make me sound sad and pathetic? Even worse is the fact that as soon as he left the room, the tears began welling up. Never in my life have I felt so ridiculous. Except for now, when the tears are flowing down my cheeks and making my t-shirt wet. Honestly, he says the sweetest things, and better still, he means every word. I've said it before, and I'll say it again: my life is complete now that he's in it. I have a great family, amazing friends, and the best boyfriend in the world. Of course, every girl says that, but hey, if they weren't the best ones for us, then why would we be with them?

Ahhhhh I'm so happy yet sad. I'm a walking contradiction. I'm smiling and crying at the same time, and I should be sleeping since I have the bus at 7.42am, but I don't want to sleep, because I know I'll be lying there for hours just thinking of him once he gets to work. I'm getting a hug as soon as I see him - and no, I don't care if we're right in the middle of a massive crowd of people, I want one, and he's giving me one :)

I can't wait to see him. I just hope my tears don't come back when I see him. They're happy tears right now, and I know I'll be happy tomorrow as soon as I see him. I'm sorry, I'm just so excited. Cuddles and then he's staying at mine. I'm so glad I have Valentine to keep me occupied right now. I'm only watching this one then going to sleep, honest.

In fact, I'm going to stop writing now. This episode is just getting good, and I have a bit of milkybar melting in my mouth. Well, when I can't have my man, I will have chocolate. That's my new rule. Let's see how it works out.

Night, folks.

D-d-d-d-d-d-Jigglez.x