January 1st is only 1 or 2 days away, depending how you look at it. So, it's time to create a plan of action for this blog. It has to have more than just random ramblings, and must contain my weight loss shenanigans. From now on, the weekly page will run as follows (all going well):
Date
Weight at start of week
Weight at end of week
Change in weight
Comments on diet, exercise, etc.
Goal for next few week.
On a daily basis, I'll put down information on how I'm feeling about my progress - or the lack of - and how I hope to progress.
And the rest of the post will stay as normal: random bletherings, stories, laughs, trials and trivulations, if that's even the right word for it.
Tonight, I'm not feeling too well. Or should I say, this morning. Current time is 5.01am. I feel rubbish, and am scared to move incase something inside me wants to escape through the various exits. Blimey I feel like an air hostess describing where to go if you start to plummet in the plane. Much good that'll do.
On the love-life front, there is mucho confuzzlement. I don't know what I'm doing, or what my heart's telling me to do. No, that's a lie. I know what my heart wants me to do, but I'm not going to do it. I know what it gets up to. It's prone to finding trouble, and I'm not being had by it again. Ohh no. It can thud away all it likes, but I'm taking no notice of it. Hang on, do I sound like Arkwright? From Open All Hours? Or more like his half-Hungarian nephew? I spose I'll never really know.
I wouldn't mind a half-Hungarian man. Come to think of it, I wouldn't mind any man as long as he was half-decent. The other half could be anything, really. Except an animal. I really wouldn't fancy having a man that was Hungarian from the waist down, and ape from the waist up. Mind you, I'd have an excuse to get up to monkey business. Ah well, I can dream.
Anyways. I'm off for now. I'll write in the new year.
Lots of love, and best wishes for Hogmanay!
Dx
Wednesday 30 December 2009
Resolutions!
Well, seeing as it's coming up to Hogmany - or New Years Eve for the non-Scots who read this - it's time to think about the resolutions you're going to make for the new beginning. I have a couple. Might be good to put them on here, and see how long they last! Aha, this could be interesting!
So, my resolutions:
1 - Keep in touch with all my friends. This one is important, seeing as I'm really bad at it! Honestly. I mean to phone, text, email, IM, the lot. But I'm so easily distracted that, by the time I remember to do it, they're gone. But things will change!
2 - Go to the gym regularly. This has to be done to increase my fitness again, and is also paramount for this blog to continue. But mainly, I just want to be fit. Mainly.
3 - Stop getting my hopes up. Obvious reasons, and is vital to me not getting so hurt again.
This list is subject to slight amendment, but hopefully it'll be like this for 2010. Cross your fingers, folkies!
Shall write again tomorrow.
Dx
So, my resolutions:
1 - Keep in touch with all my friends. This one is important, seeing as I'm really bad at it! Honestly. I mean to phone, text, email, IM, the lot. But I'm so easily distracted that, by the time I remember to do it, they're gone. But things will change!
2 - Go to the gym regularly. This has to be done to increase my fitness again, and is also paramount for this blog to continue. But mainly, I just want to be fit. Mainly.
3 - Stop getting my hopes up. Obvious reasons, and is vital to me not getting so hurt again.
This list is subject to slight amendment, but hopefully it'll be like this for 2010. Cross your fingers, folkies!
Shall write again tomorrow.
Dx
Sunday 27 December 2009
Circle of Life
Well, the other day, we had a new calf - Christmas day, Jebus, remember? Or did I write about that? I can't remember, myself - and today, we lost a cow. Just back in the now after putting her down. You could say I have death on my hands, but in the bigger picture, I don't mind, because she was really suffering, so in a way, I was giving her peace. Thing is, a couple of days ago, we might have been able to save her. My stupid younger uncle - he's 59, but my dad and the other brother are older - told the vet to go home after he saw Jebus, because there was nothing wrong with the other cow. As if he has a clue what's going on with animals. He was convinced that Jebus would be born naturally, that there would be no problem. Funny how, when we asked the vet, we were told that the calf would never had survived a natural birth. You can now see why my uncle isn't a vet. Ha. Bloody idiot. Yeah, I don't like him much. Since 2001, I've hated him. Last December only made things worse. He slagged me off once I got home from hospital. Heart of a saint, this one.
But anyway. Enough about Saint Jasmine. His name's James, but he's a pansy. A married pansy, at that. Hmm, I'm being very nasty tonight, but I don't mind. He's just the kind of person who just annoys me on sight. Not even on sight. Just knowing he's down in his house, sitting with his feet up, complaining about a sore back when it's actually fine, and refusing to help two older men who have both been through a lot and had a lot of injuries, is enough to make me boil with rage. Lazy doesn't cover it for this guy. Slob. Even that's insulting to slobs. They look like work-a-holics compared to him. Ohh he really annoys me.
*Hits the little hammer thing that auctioneers use on the table* Let's change the subject. But to what? Suggestions? Anyone? No? Fine.
Ahh, yes. The diet, or whatever I'm meant to be doing. I think it's going rather well. I'm currently eating my dinner...an oatcake. Yes, one. That's all I want right now. And I slept most of today, so food wasn't an issue. However, by 4.30 this morning, I was growing rather peckish, and went to sleep simply because I was hungry. And possibly because I was completely drained. And bored. And maybe a little sore in the eye department. Ok, so there was a mixture of things making me go to sleep, not just hunger. Although, talking about food is making me hungry!
Not hungry enough, by the looks of it.
And now, there is a metaphorical spanner in the works. My heart's confused enough as it is, and is just getting more bamboozled every day. I give up. I'm going to think with my head from now on, and tell my heart to stay where it is: it's got me in enough trouble already, thank you very much. I mean, come on. It nearly got me killed before, and now it keeps having funny turns, so I'm not going to listen to it any more. Daft thing.
Anyways, I think it's nearly time to head to bed. Or, sleep, considering I'm already on my bed. Though, I'm not in it yet. Aha. Will be soon. Promised the big brother that I would. NB: He's not my biological big brother, but he should be :) He's always there for me, and knowing him, I'll likely get a row for this tomorrow, but I don't care. Ha. There.
Maybe just one more film before I go to sleep? Just one? Unlike last night, where it was 4. Yeah, 4 films, but it was worth it. Kinda. What am I going to have to eat? Can't have anything too heavy, yet I'm quite peckish. Oh, darn my stomach.
Right. Time for bed. I won't sleep, but I might as well try.
Talk tomorrow.
Dx
But anyway. Enough about Saint Jasmine. His name's James, but he's a pansy. A married pansy, at that. Hmm, I'm being very nasty tonight, but I don't mind. He's just the kind of person who just annoys me on sight. Not even on sight. Just knowing he's down in his house, sitting with his feet up, complaining about a sore back when it's actually fine, and refusing to help two older men who have both been through a lot and had a lot of injuries, is enough to make me boil with rage. Lazy doesn't cover it for this guy. Slob. Even that's insulting to slobs. They look like work-a-holics compared to him. Ohh he really annoys me.
*Hits the little hammer thing that auctioneers use on the table* Let's change the subject. But to what? Suggestions? Anyone? No? Fine.
Ahh, yes. The diet, or whatever I'm meant to be doing. I think it's going rather well. I'm currently eating my dinner...an oatcake. Yes, one. That's all I want right now. And I slept most of today, so food wasn't an issue. However, by 4.30 this morning, I was growing rather peckish, and went to sleep simply because I was hungry. And possibly because I was completely drained. And bored. And maybe a little sore in the eye department. Ok, so there was a mixture of things making me go to sleep, not just hunger. Although, talking about food is making me hungry!
Not hungry enough, by the looks of it.
And now, there is a metaphorical spanner in the works. My heart's confused enough as it is, and is just getting more bamboozled every day. I give up. I'm going to think with my head from now on, and tell my heart to stay where it is: it's got me in enough trouble already, thank you very much. I mean, come on. It nearly got me killed before, and now it keeps having funny turns, so I'm not going to listen to it any more. Daft thing.
Anyways, I think it's nearly time to head to bed. Or, sleep, considering I'm already on my bed. Though, I'm not in it yet. Aha. Will be soon. Promised the big brother that I would. NB: He's not my biological big brother, but he should be :) He's always there for me, and knowing him, I'll likely get a row for this tomorrow, but I don't care. Ha. There.
Maybe just one more film before I go to sleep? Just one? Unlike last night, where it was 4. Yeah, 4 films, but it was worth it. Kinda. What am I going to have to eat? Can't have anything too heavy, yet I'm quite peckish. Oh, darn my stomach.
Right. Time for bed. I won't sleep, but I might as well try.
Talk tomorrow.
Dx
Saturday 26 December 2009
The Dating Game
Wow. I've not been this shocked by a guy in a lonnnnng time. I have an account on a dating site - wonderful one, and it's introduced me to some really cool people (www.plentyoffish.com) - but someone has just messaged me with a message I unfortunately can't say in a public place. I'm shocked, and also disgusted by this person. I stupidly asked if they'd honestly walk up to a girl in a bar, and ask them what he just asked me, and he said that he would. What kind of sick person would actually do that? I mentioned this to my friend - who is a guy - and he said he wouldn't even imagine asking me that, even though we've known each other for quite a long time.
Can someone out there - any male will do - please prove that there is one guy who has dignity and respects women, and doesn't treat them like they are dirty nymphomaniacs? One guy? Because, if you find him - and he's single, living in Scotland (UK), is over 5'8 and musical - then I will MARRY HIM ON THE SPOT. I'm not joking. Well, possibly, but you get my point. I really want to find one man like this, just to prove me wrong. For once I want to be wrong about guys. It might also inspire me to create my own dating site, where the members are all vetted by me and are all guarenteed not to be disgusting or anything like that. It won't happen, but you never know. The site, I mean. The guy thing might. I hope so.
My mind's all a-fluff today. I want to find the man of my dreams, or rather, let him find me. But how will I know it's him? Will he be wearing a sign that says "I'm Mr Right" or will he tap me on the shoulder, and whisper in my ear "I'm your man"? I highly doubt it. Saying that, I'm a skeptic. At the best of times. Well, depending on the subject. When it comes to love, I'm a very firm skeptic. Unless I see it with my own eyes, I won't believe it. Maybe that's where I've been going wrong. I donno.
Maybe an old flame will see what they're missing out on (doubtful, seeing as there's nothing here to miss) and will get in contact with me, sweep me off my feet - not literally of course - and whisk me away to a dream life in a far away place. Or just down the road. I can dream, can't I? Surely I'm allowed to do that? I almost hope this dream does come true. Almost.
Ho hum. Jebus is here. It's time for bed.
PS. I've designed my tattoo.
Dx
Can someone out there - any male will do - please prove that there is one guy who has dignity and respects women, and doesn't treat them like they are dirty nymphomaniacs? One guy? Because, if you find him - and he's single, living in Scotland (UK), is over 5'8 and musical - then I will MARRY HIM ON THE SPOT. I'm not joking. Well, possibly, but you get my point. I really want to find one man like this, just to prove me wrong. For once I want to be wrong about guys. It might also inspire me to create my own dating site, where the members are all vetted by me and are all guarenteed not to be disgusting or anything like that. It won't happen, but you never know. The site, I mean. The guy thing might. I hope so.
My mind's all a-fluff today. I want to find the man of my dreams, or rather, let him find me. But how will I know it's him? Will he be wearing a sign that says "I'm Mr Right" or will he tap me on the shoulder, and whisper in my ear "I'm your man"? I highly doubt it. Saying that, I'm a skeptic. At the best of times. Well, depending on the subject. When it comes to love, I'm a very firm skeptic. Unless I see it with my own eyes, I won't believe it. Maybe that's where I've been going wrong. I donno.
Maybe an old flame will see what they're missing out on (doubtful, seeing as there's nothing here to miss) and will get in contact with me, sweep me off my feet - not literally of course - and whisk me away to a dream life in a far away place. Or just down the road. I can dream, can't I? Surely I'm allowed to do that? I almost hope this dream does come true. Almost.
Ho hum. Jebus is here. It's time for bed.
PS. I've designed my tattoo.
Dx
Tuesday 22 December 2009
Ho Ho Ho
Happy Christmas folks. I would say Merry, but it depends on your view on alcohol. I'd rather have someone say "Have A Sloshed Christmas!" but that would sound very bizarre, and make me sound like an alcoholic - which I'm most definately not, considering I don't drink all that often, though when I do go out, I can drink a bathful. Sod the bucket!
So, it's 1.06am, and a miracle is occurring. There's a birth! In the cowshed! Could this be the moment we've all been waiting for? It may well be. Christ will be born again soon, but his mother is a horny cow - and no, I'm being serious here. She's a limousin cross, and the father's in the field. She's about 8 years old. If you've not caught on to what I'm describing, I'll make it easy. She's a cow. You never know, the Spirit thing could manifest itself in this beast, and we might have to bow down to the calf. Ach, long shot, but you never know! I did read something about worshipping a bull, away back in Secondary School in RE. Or I may be imagining things...
So, what presents did you all get?
I'm starting to think that no one actually reads this, so if you do, let me know. Like, leave a comment or something! I'm not that scary, surely...am I?
Hmm. Well, enough blabbering. My tattoo design is now on my mate's arm. It looks stunning. Proud, much? Oh yess.
Good night folkies. Hear from you soon.
Dx
So, it's 1.06am, and a miracle is occurring. There's a birth! In the cowshed! Could this be the moment we've all been waiting for? It may well be. Christ will be born again soon, but his mother is a horny cow - and no, I'm being serious here. She's a limousin cross, and the father's in the field. She's about 8 years old. If you've not caught on to what I'm describing, I'll make it easy. She's a cow. You never know, the Spirit thing could manifest itself in this beast, and we might have to bow down to the calf. Ach, long shot, but you never know! I did read something about worshipping a bull, away back in Secondary School in RE. Or I may be imagining things...
So, what presents did you all get?
I'm starting to think that no one actually reads this, so if you do, let me know. Like, leave a comment or something! I'm not that scary, surely...am I?
Hmm. Well, enough blabbering. My tattoo design is now on my mate's arm. It looks stunning. Proud, much? Oh yess.
Good night folkies. Hear from you soon.
Dx
Monday 21 December 2009
Sleigh-dating
Christmas: the only time of year where you get hit on by two-year-old's if you do a bit of dress-up in a Santa outfit. If it was only "Sexy Santa", where men dressed up as Santa Claws, and women dressed as Elves - or whatever suits them -, Christmas could be classed as the Speed-Dating season. This worries me. Not the fact that it could actually happen, but the fact that I thought of it. At 4am.
So, today is another day in bed. I'm ill, it's freezing, it's still snowing, and I'm bored. There's nothing to do - not even the washing, since I can't actually use the tumble dryer (it's in the shed, and it's so old it has a hose coming out of it for steam/water/stuff, and you have to have the door open when it's on) - so I'm extra bored. I actually want to do housework, but I'm restraining myself, because that's just unhealthy and indicates a sign of irreversible madness. I know I'm mad, but that's taking the biscuit.
With only a few days left til Christmas - this is Monday, and the "big day" is on Friday - I guess it's probably time to start thinking about what we're going to eat: be it turkey, beef, Christmas cards, wrapping paper, or brose, I still need to plan. Yes, so I'm a control freak, I can't help it. Just wish there were more folk coming round for it than just Dad and I. Not that it won't be good, just quiet.
What are your plans for Christmas?
I'm a happy bunny (: thanks babes, you know who you are.
Back later.
Dx
So, today is another day in bed. I'm ill, it's freezing, it's still snowing, and I'm bored. There's nothing to do - not even the washing, since I can't actually use the tumble dryer (it's in the shed, and it's so old it has a hose coming out of it for steam/water/stuff, and you have to have the door open when it's on) - so I'm extra bored. I actually want to do housework, but I'm restraining myself, because that's just unhealthy and indicates a sign of irreversible madness. I know I'm mad, but that's taking the biscuit.
With only a few days left til Christmas - this is Monday, and the "big day" is on Friday - I guess it's probably time to start thinking about what we're going to eat: be it turkey, beef, Christmas cards, wrapping paper, or brose, I still need to plan. Yes, so I'm a control freak, I can't help it. Just wish there were more folk coming round for it than just Dad and I. Not that it won't be good, just quiet.
What are your plans for Christmas?
I'm a happy bunny (: thanks babes, you know who you are.
Back later.
Dx
Sunday 20 December 2009
Rachel McDonald's Monthly Special
To feast or not to feast... That is the question...
Christmas. Mmm. Nothing better than dinner. Roast turkey, mashed tatties, roast tatties, sausages in bacon, vegetables and gravy. Jugs, and jugs, of gravy. And that's just the main course... never mind the starter, dessert, or the pile of munchies we manage to cram in only a few hours later.
It's no wonder my knickers are huge!
Food is my downfall. Always has been. My Granny's tattie soup, my Mum's yorkshire puddings, and my own chicken stirfry.
I suppose it doesn't help that I like cooking and baking... You should try my double chocolate, ooey-gooey brownies. See, there I go again. me talking about food and Dawn trying not to drool!
I like to get my money's worth, that's all. If I go to a buffet, I will force food down me just st make sure I ate enough. I'm paying for it now though. But I don't really care. If I'm hungry, I eat. Simple. Maybe just not as much next time. I promise.
I'm sure Dawn will help me...
Rachel.
Christmas. Mmm. Nothing better than dinner. Roast turkey, mashed tatties, roast tatties, sausages in bacon, vegetables and gravy. Jugs, and jugs, of gravy. And that's just the main course... never mind the starter, dessert, or the pile of munchies we manage to cram in only a few hours later.
It's no wonder my knickers are huge!
Food is my downfall. Always has been. My Granny's tattie soup, my Mum's yorkshire puddings, and my own chicken stirfry.
I suppose it doesn't help that I like cooking and baking... You should try my double chocolate, ooey-gooey brownies. See, there I go again. me talking about food and Dawn trying not to drool!
I like to get my money's worth, that's all. If I go to a buffet, I will force food down me just st make sure I ate enough. I'm paying for it now though. But I don't really care. If I'm hungry, I eat. Simple. Maybe just not as much next time. I promise.
I'm sure Dawn will help me...
Rachel.
Mortification.
Snow. Lots of it. Yuss! Looks like I might be having a white Christmas! Well, I can't see the snow disappearing in the next few days, so it's quite likely. Even though I'm the modern-day Scrooge. Well someone has to be! Though, I have a big smile on my face now (: It's just nothing to do with Christmas or anything like that.
Must tell you about something that happened last night. My friend in Australia thought it was the funniest thing I said when I got home this morning, but I wasn't quite so entertained. Bet you're wondering what it was, now. Better tell you.
I was out at a friends 60th Birthday party, and all their children and grandchildren were there, as well as the son-in-law and his younger brother. Back at the house after the party, there were drinks and laughs and everything, and I was in the kitchen with the daughter, and son-in-law and his brother. It was all going swimmingly. Now, the birthday boy's wife knows I'm single, and she also knew that the younger brother is single. So she approached me, was speaking to me, then said "Do you know him?" about the brother. I said no, because I didn't know him. Before I knew it, I was grabbed by the hand, hauled over to him and introduced. I was scarlet. As was he. Honestly, she's as subtle as a gun. She kept telling me - in front of him - that he was such a lovely lad, and single, and was going to university, and was a lovely lad, and gorgeous, and was a lovely lad. By this time, I was facing the other direction, crouching down on the floor, trying to breathe while laughing. When I stood up, I looked at the birthday boy's daughter, and we just burst out laughing.
I have never been so mortified! But tally ho. Next thing I know, I'll be getting a text from him. Help! I know I'm single, but there's really no need for people to keep setting me up with every person they find who is single. It's really not necessary. But try telling them that! They're all at it. I didn't join that dating service, nor do I intend to!
Saints preserve us. No, I don't know where that came from either, but there you go. My story of the weekend. There were a lot of moments that were funny, but you'd really have to be there to understand why they're funny. Or at least know the people involved to know how crazy we all are - and how much worse we get when we're together!
Toodles for now. I'll write more later.
Dx
Must tell you about something that happened last night. My friend in Australia thought it was the funniest thing I said when I got home this morning, but I wasn't quite so entertained. Bet you're wondering what it was, now. Better tell you.
I was out at a friends 60th Birthday party, and all their children and grandchildren were there, as well as the son-in-law and his younger brother. Back at the house after the party, there were drinks and laughs and everything, and I was in the kitchen with the daughter, and son-in-law and his brother. It was all going swimmingly. Now, the birthday boy's wife knows I'm single, and she also knew that the younger brother is single. So she approached me, was speaking to me, then said "Do you know him?" about the brother. I said no, because I didn't know him. Before I knew it, I was grabbed by the hand, hauled over to him and introduced. I was scarlet. As was he. Honestly, she's as subtle as a gun. She kept telling me - in front of him - that he was such a lovely lad, and single, and was going to university, and was a lovely lad, and gorgeous, and was a lovely lad. By this time, I was facing the other direction, crouching down on the floor, trying to breathe while laughing. When I stood up, I looked at the birthday boy's daughter, and we just burst out laughing.
I have never been so mortified! But tally ho. Next thing I know, I'll be getting a text from him. Help! I know I'm single, but there's really no need for people to keep setting me up with every person they find who is single. It's really not necessary. But try telling them that! They're all at it. I didn't join that dating service, nor do I intend to!
Saints preserve us. No, I don't know where that came from either, but there you go. My story of the weekend. There were a lot of moments that were funny, but you'd really have to be there to understand why they're funny. Or at least know the people involved to know how crazy we all are - and how much worse we get when we're together!
Toodles for now. I'll write more later.
Dx
Friday 18 December 2009
Yaahoo!
Finally, finished for the Christmas Holidays. A pointless time of year (in my opinion). Far too commercialised and you waste your money buying presents that no-one really wants, make a meal for your family of ten and a dog that would actually feel the US Army, and your older family members have a few too many sherries and start dancing around to random segments of songs they have dragged out of a file in their memory called "SONGS TO FORGET". Honestly, it's an embarrassing time of year. Or am I the only one subjected to this?
As for the weight loss thing. I'm not sure how I'm doing, considering I haven't officially started it yet, and am in training for Christmas day and Boxing day - both of which are guarenteed to involve more than one glass of an alcoholic beverage. They're going to be days that I won't remember much of. Which, I think, is a good thing. I want to get all the people in Aberdeenshire who feel the same way about Christmas as I do, and go to a pub with them all so we can enjoy ourselves. Would be so much more fun than watching the Queen's Speech (Honestly, who actually watches that in it's entirety?).
These past few weeks, I've been in an incredibly good mood, and especially today. No idea why, especially since I just broke a string on my guitar and have a cold, and it's snowing outside. How horrible is that? They may well get a White Christmas, after all. Gah. Don't get me wrong, I love snow. It's better than rain, as long as it doesn't melt, because it's drier.
Ho hum. I have LiveIreland radio on. Some good tunes played on there. Wish I had a CD out so that I could go to Dublin and go to the Temple Bar and sell some. HA! I could go anyways... Hummmmm Possibly!!
As for the weight loss thing. I'm not sure how I'm doing, considering I haven't officially started it yet, and am in training for Christmas day and Boxing day - both of which are guarenteed to involve more than one glass of an alcoholic beverage. They're going to be days that I won't remember much of. Which, I think, is a good thing. I want to get all the people in Aberdeenshire who feel the same way about Christmas as I do, and go to a pub with them all so we can enjoy ourselves. Would be so much more fun than watching the Queen's Speech (Honestly, who actually watches that in it's entirety?).
These past few weeks, I've been in an incredibly good mood, and especially today. No idea why, especially since I just broke a string on my guitar and have a cold, and it's snowing outside. How horrible is that? They may well get a White Christmas, after all. Gah. Don't get me wrong, I love snow. It's better than rain, as long as it doesn't melt, because it's drier.
Ho hum. I have LiveIreland radio on. Some good tunes played on there. Wish I had a CD out so that I could go to Dublin and go to the Temple Bar and sell some. HA! I could go anyways... Hummmmm Possibly!!
Monday 14 December 2009
Tis the season...
... to get a cold. Yep, first one in a while, and I'm feeling groggy and horrible. Stocking up on the hot lemon and honey drinks to try and kick it as soon as possible. Knowing my luck, I'll be stuck with it until my next birthday - next July. Oh the joys of having an immune system that fails to work when it's actually needed.
What on earth is wrong with my keyboard? Every so often, it just stops working and won't let me type anything, yet it's happy to use backspace to shift this page back. Ahh wonderful technology. It's hopeless. Or maybe it's me that's hopeless with it! What we need is voice-activated computers. Make life so much easier!
This post is turning into more of a rant than anything. So I might as well go for it! I have no idea if anyone actually reads this, so, instead of just reading it and moving on, why not leave me a comment to let me know you dropped by? If there's anything you want my opinion on, feel free to let me know. My rants tend to be rather hilarious. Just like some of the belters that come out of my mouth.
Like the other day, the hood incident. One of the boys was trying on a new hoodie in a shop, and he liked it, then put up the hood for some reason. And, without thinking, quick as you like, I said - rather loudly - "Oh my god, the hood fits!". I couldn't believe it. Has to be one of the worst - and best - things I've ever said, although I couldn't apologise enough. I felt so bad for it! I think he forgave me.... Lol.
A matter of days before I start a heavy training programme, and lose more weight, even though I've already lost half a stone. Proud? I think so!
Ahhhh The Mars Volta. What a band. Loving their De-Loused album. Magic stuff :D
Anyways. Bedtime for me I think. The invalid needs her rest. And also needs to do some work for a past paper tomorrow. Wish me luck, and don't forget to comment if you pop in past this or my poetry.
Toodles,
D x
What on earth is wrong with my keyboard? Every so often, it just stops working and won't let me type anything, yet it's happy to use backspace to shift this page back. Ahh wonderful technology. It's hopeless. Or maybe it's me that's hopeless with it! What we need is voice-activated computers. Make life so much easier!
This post is turning into more of a rant than anything. So I might as well go for it! I have no idea if anyone actually reads this, so, instead of just reading it and moving on, why not leave me a comment to let me know you dropped by? If there's anything you want my opinion on, feel free to let me know. My rants tend to be rather hilarious. Just like some of the belters that come out of my mouth.
Like the other day, the hood incident. One of the boys was trying on a new hoodie in a shop, and he liked it, then put up the hood for some reason. And, without thinking, quick as you like, I said - rather loudly - "Oh my god, the hood fits!". I couldn't believe it. Has to be one of the worst - and best - things I've ever said, although I couldn't apologise enough. I felt so bad for it! I think he forgave me.... Lol.
A matter of days before I start a heavy training programme, and lose more weight, even though I've already lost half a stone. Proud? I think so!
Ahhhh The Mars Volta. What a band. Loving their De-Loused album. Magic stuff :D
Anyways. Bedtime for me I think. The invalid needs her rest. And also needs to do some work for a past paper tomorrow. Wish me luck, and don't forget to comment if you pop in past this or my poetry.
Toodles,
D x
Friday 11 December 2009
Recap of the week
So, I've not blogged in a couple of days, and just put the bird incident up. Hope you enjoy!
However, some sad news. In the hilarity of the raging bird, I forgot to tell you about the rest of my day. I'm turning this into a journal-come-food-diary-come-randomness blog from now on, as my life is currently like an episode of Open All Hours. Or a Carry On Film. Take your pick!
I met the most wonderful person the other night. It's like I've known him forever, but it's really only been a week, or less! He's such a sweet, caring guy, and so easy to talk to! Saying that, I've lost a lot of sleep since I met him, because we talk on the phone for HOURS. And I rarely get to sleep before 3am! But it's all good. He makes me smile more than he knows, and I can barely stop laughing when we talk. It's not that he's a complete idiot or a bit strange or anything. He just knows how to make me smile and laugh. We have so much in common as well. Oh it's a very giggly Dawn!
I met Rachel in town, and we went for lunch after I saw my "son". We invaded Pizza Hut, laughed far too much, sorted out a letter and munched for Scotland. Honestly, if there was a team for eating, we'd be on it! LOL. Well, maybe not, given our gymming and swimming, but you never know. HA.
Then something scary happened. Well, it's a real-life miracle. I was astounded to find myself walking into shops - can't remember which one it was - and I started boogeying with the Christmas music. I was even singing along! What on earth has happened to me? I used to be the Grinch, but now I'm looking forward to the most pointless time of year, the one that costs you TWO years wages to afford ONE present for someone who would have more fun with the box the present came in. Ok, so maybe I'm not a Santa worshipper yet, but there's still hope. Just don't expect me to skip down the street yelling "Merrrrry Chrrrristmas, everyyyone!". I don't think that will ever happen, and if it does, I give Rachel the permission to shoot me with a BB gun until my eyes bleed. Yeah, it ain't gonna happen!
Now, I went into town to go to college on Thursday, yes, yesterday. When I go there, I was told that the lecturer for the class I went in for WASN'T BLOODY THERE! Soooooo annoyed but tally ho. I was so frustrated. And then, to top it all off, I went back on the bus, into town, rushed for my train, only to find that I missed it by one minute. ONE!!!!! And Had to wait an hour and a half til the next one. Boy, was I bored.
Saturday night, I went into town, saw my friend from Glasgow, and also saw my boys. It was a good day, plus I had money to spend - had to buy something to wear to the Christmas party at night, and needed to buy something for my own Christmas present on behalf of my dad. It was all good. Got my new perfume! :D I also got new jeans, because I needed them, and I had lunch with one of the boys since the other was buying Christmas prezzies for his girlfriend. Awww cute :D
All in all, it's been a good week. Hope next continues the same, although, I think it's only going to get better. Yahoooo! Looking forward to Thursday for a number of reasons:
1 - I get to meet a lovely guy
2 - We finish college for Christmas
3 - I'm having a Lombarda's Pizza
4 - I'm hitting the pub with folkies for some drinks.
It's going to be a good day :D
I'll talk on Monday. Tomorrow. LOL.
Have a good night, folks.
Dx
However, some sad news. In the hilarity of the raging bird, I forgot to tell you about the rest of my day. I'm turning this into a journal-come-food-diary-come-randomness blog from now on, as my life is currently like an episode of Open All Hours. Or a Carry On Film. Take your pick!
I met the most wonderful person the other night. It's like I've known him forever, but it's really only been a week, or less! He's such a sweet, caring guy, and so easy to talk to! Saying that, I've lost a lot of sleep since I met him, because we talk on the phone for HOURS. And I rarely get to sleep before 3am! But it's all good. He makes me smile more than he knows, and I can barely stop laughing when we talk. It's not that he's a complete idiot or a bit strange or anything. He just knows how to make me smile and laugh. We have so much in common as well. Oh it's a very giggly Dawn!
I met Rachel in town, and we went for lunch after I saw my "son". We invaded Pizza Hut, laughed far too much, sorted out a letter and munched for Scotland. Honestly, if there was a team for eating, we'd be on it! LOL. Well, maybe not, given our gymming and swimming, but you never know. HA.
Then something scary happened. Well, it's a real-life miracle. I was astounded to find myself walking into shops - can't remember which one it was - and I started boogeying with the Christmas music. I was even singing along! What on earth has happened to me? I used to be the Grinch, but now I'm looking forward to the most pointless time of year, the one that costs you TWO years wages to afford ONE present for someone who would have more fun with the box the present came in. Ok, so maybe I'm not a Santa worshipper yet, but there's still hope. Just don't expect me to skip down the street yelling "Merrrrry Chrrrristmas, everyyyone!". I don't think that will ever happen, and if it does, I give Rachel the permission to shoot me with a BB gun until my eyes bleed. Yeah, it ain't gonna happen!
Now, I went into town to go to college on Thursday, yes, yesterday. When I go there, I was told that the lecturer for the class I went in for WASN'T BLOODY THERE! Soooooo annoyed but tally ho. I was so frustrated. And then, to top it all off, I went back on the bus, into town, rushed for my train, only to find that I missed it by one minute. ONE!!!!! And Had to wait an hour and a half til the next one. Boy, was I bored.
Saturday night, I went into town, saw my friend from Glasgow, and also saw my boys. It was a good day, plus I had money to spend - had to buy something to wear to the Christmas party at night, and needed to buy something for my own Christmas present on behalf of my dad. It was all good. Got my new perfume! :D I also got new jeans, because I needed them, and I had lunch with one of the boys since the other was buying Christmas prezzies for his girlfriend. Awww cute :D
All in all, it's been a good week. Hope next continues the same, although, I think it's only going to get better. Yahoooo! Looking forward to Thursday for a number of reasons:
1 - I get to meet a lovely guy
2 - We finish college for Christmas
3 - I'm having a Lombarda's Pizza
4 - I'm hitting the pub with folkies for some drinks.
It's going to be a good day :D
I'll talk on Monday. Tomorrow. LOL.
Have a good night, folks.
Dx
Wednesday 9 December 2009
Funny bird, that
Well, after the door incident of yesterday, I never thought I'd find anything to amuse me at the train station again. I was wrong.
Sitting out the front of the station, looking across the grey square with shoppers passing by in all directions, I let my eyes wander watching the world go by. They happened to find a guy with a red and blue hold-all over his shoulder. This is nothing unusual for town. There are hundreds and thousands of them. They are used by oil companies to give to their offshore workers, and they all get the train to Dyce then get the helicopter to the rigs. So anyway, this guy walks diagonally across towards the station doors, minding his own business.
At the same time, there was a lone seagull walking around randomly. The seagulls here aren't normal sized. They are MUTANTS! These beasts can swallow a sandwich WHOLE without even blinking an eyelid. Slight twitch of the beak, and it's gone. Wouldn't be surprised if they've tried to eat children whole before. These things are brutal.
Anyways, this seagull was in the near proximity to this bloke I saw, walking in the other direction, and they paid no attention to each other. And then. Had I been out drinking, I would have said I was drunk. But, considering I haven't had a drink for a good few weeks and it was 10am, I was sober. This seagull turned on his heels, assuming it was a male, and started running towards this poor man. His eyes filled with terror and befuddlement at what this bird was doing. Before he knew it, the animal was off the ground, and bombing for his face. He threw his arms wildly to scare the bird or protect himself, but the bird flew in the other direction anyway.
The bloke clocked me looking, and we both laughed, and I continued to laugh for the next few minutes. It was just such a random thing. However, the bird wasn't finished being cheeky. He started walking over to the corner, where the automatic doors to the train station ticket place were. You merely twitch and these things open. So yes, this bird went towards them, they opened, and he looked in, cocked his head to one sight, then turned and wandered off along the glass front of the shopping centre, pecking at the windows, looking for a way to get in to. I suppose he was wanting to visit Yo-Sushi. Greedy pig. Urrr, I mean, Seagull. I don't think pigs eat sushi, do they...?
To top my morning off, I saw my "son". He's not really my son, but he does call me Mum. Makes me feel old. Only thing is, there's two of them. They both call me Mum. Honestly, why?! Their parents trust me to look after them. It's more like the other way round! I go hyper, and it all ends in mucho hilarity and trouble. Well, trouble if anyone ever found out. But you're not going to tell, are you?? No, I didn't think so. Heehee.
Sitting out the front of the station, looking across the grey square with shoppers passing by in all directions, I let my eyes wander watching the world go by. They happened to find a guy with a red and blue hold-all over his shoulder. This is nothing unusual for town. There are hundreds and thousands of them. They are used by oil companies to give to their offshore workers, and they all get the train to Dyce then get the helicopter to the rigs. So anyway, this guy walks diagonally across towards the station doors, minding his own business.
At the same time, there was a lone seagull walking around randomly. The seagulls here aren't normal sized. They are MUTANTS! These beasts can swallow a sandwich WHOLE without even blinking an eyelid. Slight twitch of the beak, and it's gone. Wouldn't be surprised if they've tried to eat children whole before. These things are brutal.
Anyways, this seagull was in the near proximity to this bloke I saw, walking in the other direction, and they paid no attention to each other. And then. Had I been out drinking, I would have said I was drunk. But, considering I haven't had a drink for a good few weeks and it was 10am, I was sober. This seagull turned on his heels, assuming it was a male, and started running towards this poor man. His eyes filled with terror and befuddlement at what this bird was doing. Before he knew it, the animal was off the ground, and bombing for his face. He threw his arms wildly to scare the bird or protect himself, but the bird flew in the other direction anyway.
The bloke clocked me looking, and we both laughed, and I continued to laugh for the next few minutes. It was just such a random thing. However, the bird wasn't finished being cheeky. He started walking over to the corner, where the automatic doors to the train station ticket place were. You merely twitch and these things open. So yes, this bird went towards them, they opened, and he looked in, cocked his head to one sight, then turned and wandered off along the glass front of the shopping centre, pecking at the windows, looking for a way to get in to. I suppose he was wanting to visit Yo-Sushi. Greedy pig. Urrr, I mean, Seagull. I don't think pigs eat sushi, do they...?
To top my morning off, I saw my "son". He's not really my son, but he does call me Mum. Makes me feel old. Only thing is, there's two of them. They both call me Mum. Honestly, why?! Their parents trust me to look after them. It's more like the other way round! I go hyper, and it all ends in mucho hilarity and trouble. Well, trouble if anyone ever found out. But you're not going to tell, are you?? No, I didn't think so. Heehee.
...and so little time
Well, yesterday I saw one of the funniest things I've ever seen. Or should I say many of them?! I was bored after college, sitting enjoying a nice mug of hot chocolate in a cafe in the station. Nice to warm me up. There was a window to my left, which looked across a corridor/tunnel/thing to a WHSmith. Now, the doors I was looking at were automatic doors, but had HUGE signs in the windows - both doors - saying "Sorry! These doors are out of order. Please use the other entrance". I could barely see into the shop past these notices, they were that big. Round the corner from these doors were normal push-pull doors, two sets of them, with people streaming in and out of them. Great thing that civilisation is.
So anyway. I was sitting, watching the world go by, when someone walked up to these automatic doors, expected them to open, and looked incredibly confused when they didn't. This clever person then turned on their heels and walked round to the other doors. I thought nothing more about it. Until, I happened to see another person do the same thing, that befuddled expression obviously blinding their eyes from these glaring signs saying "Sorry!" in big, black letters. Another 12 people did the same thing, one after the other, a matter of 20 seconds between each. They must have thought they were special, that the door which wouldn't open for the person before them, would open up when they approach, as though they shouted "Open sesame!". Pah.
And then I was in creases. This bloke, bald as a coot, wandered up to the door, big headphones over his ears and a backpack hitched high on his back, and looked highly confused at the sensor above the doors. He surveyed the glass doors, missing entirely the signs saying to use the other entrances, and proceeded to step back from the doors and look at the sensor again. Had he hair on his head, I swear he would have scratched his head through it. But, instead, he rubbed his head, making it shine even more. Seeing as his attempts at attracting the attention of the sensors by stepping back, he moved forward the doors. As they didn't do so much as twitch, Baldie stood back and waved. Yes, he waved his arms at the sensor. But he must have realised how ridiculous he looked, because he checked for people watching him to his left and right, then skulked off round the corner and went into the shop from the front. Mucho hilarity to be had.
He was number 13. There was a further 10.. yes, TEN people did the same as him, although, they didn't stand around nearly as long, and it wasn't as much entertainment, though some of the expressions on their faces made me giggle. One woman walked up, backed up, almost ran at the door, shoved her shoulder into it, then looked around with a sheepish grin on her face and tried to look casual as she walked away. She had clocked me giggling quietly to myself. Had I been laughing as I normally would, people would have been looking at me as though I were insane. They wouldn't be far wrong, but they don't need to know that!
Just when I thought it was time for me to pack away my notepad and pen, I looked one last time at my source of amusement and happened to see right into the shop, beside the crisps and munchies. Then, this gorgeous bloke I saw came walked round the end of the munch stand, looking around randomly at different things. Then, to top my day off, he walked into the automatic doors trying to get out! I burst out laughing, in a silent way, which probably doesn't make any sense, but oh well. Such is life.
As for the diet, it's going alright. I had a light lunch of something I cannot remember, then a dinner of a prawn mayo sarnie, and a little bit of leftover potato dauphinoise. Twas a cold day and I needed warming up!
So anyway. I was sitting, watching the world go by, when someone walked up to these automatic doors, expected them to open, and looked incredibly confused when they didn't. This clever person then turned on their heels and walked round to the other doors. I thought nothing more about it. Until, I happened to see another person do the same thing, that befuddled expression obviously blinding their eyes from these glaring signs saying "Sorry!" in big, black letters. Another 12 people did the same thing, one after the other, a matter of 20 seconds between each. They must have thought they were special, that the door which wouldn't open for the person before them, would open up when they approach, as though they shouted "Open sesame!". Pah.
And then I was in creases. This bloke, bald as a coot, wandered up to the door, big headphones over his ears and a backpack hitched high on his back, and looked highly confused at the sensor above the doors. He surveyed the glass doors, missing entirely the signs saying to use the other entrances, and proceeded to step back from the doors and look at the sensor again. Had he hair on his head, I swear he would have scratched his head through it. But, instead, he rubbed his head, making it shine even more. Seeing as his attempts at attracting the attention of the sensors by stepping back, he moved forward the doors. As they didn't do so much as twitch, Baldie stood back and waved. Yes, he waved his arms at the sensor. But he must have realised how ridiculous he looked, because he checked for people watching him to his left and right, then skulked off round the corner and went into the shop from the front. Mucho hilarity to be had.
He was number 13. There was a further 10.. yes, TEN people did the same as him, although, they didn't stand around nearly as long, and it wasn't as much entertainment, though some of the expressions on their faces made me giggle. One woman walked up, backed up, almost ran at the door, shoved her shoulder into it, then looked around with a sheepish grin on her face and tried to look casual as she walked away. She had clocked me giggling quietly to myself. Had I been laughing as I normally would, people would have been looking at me as though I were insane. They wouldn't be far wrong, but they don't need to know that!
Just when I thought it was time for me to pack away my notepad and pen, I looked one last time at my source of amusement and happened to see right into the shop, beside the crisps and munchies. Then, this gorgeous bloke I saw came walked round the end of the munch stand, looking around randomly at different things. Then, to top my day off, he walked into the automatic doors trying to get out! I burst out laughing, in a silent way, which probably doesn't make any sense, but oh well. Such is life.
As for the diet, it's going alright. I had a light lunch of something I cannot remember, then a dinner of a prawn mayo sarnie, and a little bit of leftover potato dauphinoise. Twas a cold day and I needed warming up!
Sunday 6 December 2009
18 days til Christmas...
Bah Humbug. I'm the modern-day Scrooge.
Today was a good day, as have been the past few day. I have a weird sense of inner-calm, and I think I know why. I got some closure on a past relationship, and I've been worrying that I lost him totally, but I know that he's going to be there as my closest friend, and I'm happy with that. Hoorah! So, my mood has been up consistently for the last few days, and higher than it has been in the last 8 years, which is quite an achievement.
As for the diet. Well, I've not been all that bad, but I've also not been a complete angel. I had very little to eat during the day. Woke up at 12.45pm to see my uncle driving up the road slowly and turning to park. Bearing in mind that I'm not wearing anything in bed, I have no curtains, and this is a bungalow, you can see my panic to get dressed! Don't worry, we live a good mile and a half from anywhere else so no one can usually see in. I rushed through to tell my dad that they were here, and he said that they were here for lunch. Yipee, I'd get food!
Then they came in the door - with their yappy, annoying collie - and said they'd eaten. Dad munched on an oatcake, and I was left to starve for the next 3 hours! So I decided to make my dinner a good one. I had a nice rib-eye steak in the fridge, and fresh potatoes, cream and cheese. That would make a nice meal! Medium-rare steak, with green beans, sweetcorn and potato dauphinoise. Oh boy it was good! Totally full of artery-clogging, fat-piling goodness, but so very worth it! All I need now is a glass of white wine. Or ribena.
Back to the grindstone tomorrow. College at 9am, so a 7am start to my day. Can't wait. Honestly, I'm trying to supress my excitement at the prospect of a rush-hour train from here to town, followed by two hours of a Music Theory class, and then a lesson on an instrument I've never played before. Yeah, I play the fiddle and am studying it, but my instrumental lessons in college are being used to teach me the flute. Random or what?! I'll have to put a picture of my flute up on here, if I ever work out how to do it.
Time to blow out the candles dotted around my room, and crawl into bed I think. Got to get a good night's sleep before I return to that hell-hole and get tortured once again. Only 6 months to go though, so I might just survive long enough to see my 20th! Still trying to work out where I should go for that. I'm thinking Rome, or Athens or something. Where do you think?
Blimey my dog's hyper. Crazy collie, cute and a little bit looney, but I love him. He's a wee darling and I don't know what I'd do without him. Such a wee cutiepie =D Must put a picture of him up as well. I really must work out this technology fandango.
Right, folkies. Bedtime for lumpy. No, I haven't a clue what I'm on about either, but there you have it. I'll love you and leave you all for a night.
Goodnight, goodnight, good people. The nutter has left the blogworld.
Today was a good day, as have been the past few day. I have a weird sense of inner-calm, and I think I know why. I got some closure on a past relationship, and I've been worrying that I lost him totally, but I know that he's going to be there as my closest friend, and I'm happy with that. Hoorah! So, my mood has been up consistently for the last few days, and higher than it has been in the last 8 years, which is quite an achievement.
As for the diet. Well, I've not been all that bad, but I've also not been a complete angel. I had very little to eat during the day. Woke up at 12.45pm to see my uncle driving up the road slowly and turning to park. Bearing in mind that I'm not wearing anything in bed, I have no curtains, and this is a bungalow, you can see my panic to get dressed! Don't worry, we live a good mile and a half from anywhere else so no one can usually see in. I rushed through to tell my dad that they were here, and he said that they were here for lunch. Yipee, I'd get food!
Then they came in the door - with their yappy, annoying collie - and said they'd eaten. Dad munched on an oatcake, and I was left to starve for the next 3 hours! So I decided to make my dinner a good one. I had a nice rib-eye steak in the fridge, and fresh potatoes, cream and cheese. That would make a nice meal! Medium-rare steak, with green beans, sweetcorn and potato dauphinoise. Oh boy it was good! Totally full of artery-clogging, fat-piling goodness, but so very worth it! All I need now is a glass of white wine. Or ribena.
Back to the grindstone tomorrow. College at 9am, so a 7am start to my day. Can't wait. Honestly, I'm trying to supress my excitement at the prospect of a rush-hour train from here to town, followed by two hours of a Music Theory class, and then a lesson on an instrument I've never played before. Yeah, I play the fiddle and am studying it, but my instrumental lessons in college are being used to teach me the flute. Random or what?! I'll have to put a picture of my flute up on here, if I ever work out how to do it.
Time to blow out the candles dotted around my room, and crawl into bed I think. Got to get a good night's sleep before I return to that hell-hole and get tortured once again. Only 6 months to go though, so I might just survive long enough to see my 20th! Still trying to work out where I should go for that. I'm thinking Rome, or Athens or something. Where do you think?
Blimey my dog's hyper. Crazy collie, cute and a little bit looney, but I love him. He's a wee darling and I don't know what I'd do without him. Such a wee cutiepie =D Must put a picture of him up as well. I really must work out this technology fandango.
Right, folkies. Bedtime for lumpy. No, I haven't a clue what I'm on about either, but there you have it. I'll love you and leave you all for a night.
Goodnight, goodnight, good people. The nutter has left the blogworld.
Saturday 5 December 2009
T -26 days and counting.
So, created my blog. All I need to do now is encourage people to see this, comment me with ideas, suggestions, words of wisdom, heckles, jokes, advice, or whatever they feel like saying to me. I'm open to any sort of commenting.
I have a squeeky keyboard. Especially the "backspace" key. What's with that?
By the way. I'll be writing on this when I'm bored, or when I have nothing better to do. Basically, keep an eye out for new parts being added to the current post.
Oh, and if you comment, please do tell me anything you want. I'm a good listener, and if you need to speak to someone if you're down or need help, just give me a message, and I'll send you my email address so you can talk in privacy. See? I'm not all that bad!
I think I need to creat a randomness blog, but that will only get me in trouble, and then end up empty. But I don't want to fill this one with random babbling. Ideas?
Anyway. Back to the subject in hand. Or laptop. As I'm sitting here on my bed, with my bucket, I mean, mug of tea (no sugars, drop of milk. I'm being good, see?) I start to wonder "Why is it so difficult for scientists to come up with a definite answer to weightloss?" I mean, I'm a scientific person. I love biology and investigating things. So, when all these new diets come out and say they're scientifically proven to make you lose weight, why are they all so different?
I remember, way back when mum was still around, she had all these diet books and sheets and videos, and they'd all say to do different things! One said to eat as much lean meat as you want, and no carbs. Then another would say eat plenty of fruit and veg, some carbs, and a little meat. It was all very confusing. I tried to do both at the same time, and landed up being very confused and not losing anything. All in all, my experience with dieting didn't get off to a flying start.
So, I've hidden all those books and information sheets at the back of my wardrobe, and let's just say, I won't be finding it anytime soon. I'm now going to use my biological knowledge to my advantage, and create a plan to suit me. I'll make a different post to detail it. I wouldn't advise you use it though, since it's tailor-made for me. And also not scientifically tested!
I have a squeeky keyboard. Especially the "backspace" key. What's with that?
By the way. I'll be writing on this when I'm bored, or when I have nothing better to do. Basically, keep an eye out for new parts being added to the current post.
Oh, and if you comment, please do tell me anything you want. I'm a good listener, and if you need to speak to someone if you're down or need help, just give me a message, and I'll send you my email address so you can talk in privacy. See? I'm not all that bad!
I think I need to creat a randomness blog, but that will only get me in trouble, and then end up empty. But I don't want to fill this one with random babbling. Ideas?
Anyway. Back to the subject in hand. Or laptop. As I'm sitting here on my bed, with my bucket, I mean, mug of tea (no sugars, drop of milk. I'm being good, see?) I start to wonder "Why is it so difficult for scientists to come up with a definite answer to weightloss?" I mean, I'm a scientific person. I love biology and investigating things. So, when all these new diets come out and say they're scientifically proven to make you lose weight, why are they all so different?
I remember, way back when mum was still around, she had all these diet books and sheets and videos, and they'd all say to do different things! One said to eat as much lean meat as you want, and no carbs. Then another would say eat plenty of fruit and veg, some carbs, and a little meat. It was all very confusing. I tried to do both at the same time, and landed up being very confused and not losing anything. All in all, my experience with dieting didn't get off to a flying start.
So, I've hidden all those books and information sheets at the back of my wardrobe, and let's just say, I won't be finding it anytime soon. I'm now going to use my biological knowledge to my advantage, and create a plan to suit me. I'll make a different post to detail it. I wouldn't advise you use it though, since it's tailor-made for me. And also not scientifically tested!
Prologue
"I must lose weight" I said as I held up my smalls - or larges, in my case - and stretched them out to see the fullness of my arse. These things were quite terrifying. I swear, I could have got two live hens in them, and they weren't little birds. More like midget turkeys, if you ask me, which you didn't, but I'll tell you anyway. This massive piece of shaped fabric, called girl-boxers, were huge. I'm appauled at myself. So that's it. I'm going to lose weight. No longer will I be susceptible to being called Mrs Hugepants, or any such name. No, the days of me being this size are officially over. Well, nearly, as Christmas is just around the corner and I do like to have a good day of feasting, which generally lasts 3 days due to the quantity of food I've prepared for a family who won't arrive, and fail to inform me. Typical.
Oh my. How could I be so rude? Here I am, telling you about my Christmas plans, and how big my knickers are, and you don't even know who I am or why I am here! Please, forgive me, readers. Call me Dawn - everyone else does. I'm your average Joanna, and my dream is the same as any other in the country, or most of them anyway: I want to lose weight. However, I'm not a stick-thin person saying that about myself. Those girls, who say "ooh I'm so fat, I need to go on a diet" when they have a figure most of the world would dream of having, just annoy me. There is NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU! I, however, am "clinically" obese - which means bugger all, if I'm honest. This BMI (body mass index) stuff just calculates you on your height and weight. It fails to take into account your bone structure, density, and actual muscle weight, so it isn't actually all that accurate. And I, for one, would prefer to have a bit of extra weight on me than be thin, exiguous, and struggle to support the weight of my own teeth in my head. Honestly, these girls look fragile, like the slightest thing could break them, snap off limbs and a sneezing fit would make them explode.
I'm so easily distracted. I keep going off on tangents from what I really want to say. But, such is life, dear readers. Congratulations for reaching this far, and I hope you'll read on. It might just be entertaining. Or stupid.
The reason for me doing this blog-thing is to share with you my progress in the "weightloss" front, and to support those of you with the same dream. I hope I can be a source of inspiration, or at least a source of entertainment. Maybe laughing might tone the stomach muscles better than a hundred sit-ups. Never know.
Anyway. Toodle-pip for now, all. I'm starting this officially in the new year, but up til then, I will be getting used to exercising (got to watch my spelling there. I might get confused between chasing demons and sweat out of my body!) and also working out what to eat all the time, and what I can only have in emergency situations, ie., when I get stressed, or upset, or worried, or bored,... This could be an interesting 2010!
Ciao! Dxxx
Oh my. How could I be so rude? Here I am, telling you about my Christmas plans, and how big my knickers are, and you don't even know who I am or why I am here! Please, forgive me, readers. Call me Dawn - everyone else does. I'm your average Joanna, and my dream is the same as any other in the country, or most of them anyway: I want to lose weight. However, I'm not a stick-thin person saying that about myself. Those girls, who say "ooh I'm so fat, I need to go on a diet" when they have a figure most of the world would dream of having, just annoy me. There is NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU! I, however, am "clinically" obese - which means bugger all, if I'm honest. This BMI (body mass index) stuff just calculates you on your height and weight. It fails to take into account your bone structure, density, and actual muscle weight, so it isn't actually all that accurate. And I, for one, would prefer to have a bit of extra weight on me than be thin, exiguous, and struggle to support the weight of my own teeth in my head. Honestly, these girls look fragile, like the slightest thing could break them, snap off limbs and a sneezing fit would make them explode.
I'm so easily distracted. I keep going off on tangents from what I really want to say. But, such is life, dear readers. Congratulations for reaching this far, and I hope you'll read on. It might just be entertaining. Or stupid.
The reason for me doing this blog-thing is to share with you my progress in the "weightloss" front, and to support those of you with the same dream. I hope I can be a source of inspiration, or at least a source of entertainment. Maybe laughing might tone the stomach muscles better than a hundred sit-ups. Never know.
Anyway. Toodle-pip for now, all. I'm starting this officially in the new year, but up til then, I will be getting used to exercising (got to watch my spelling there. I might get confused between chasing demons and sweat out of my body!) and also working out what to eat all the time, and what I can only have in emergency situations, ie., when I get stressed, or upset, or worried, or bored,... This could be an interesting 2010!
Ciao! Dxxx
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)