Realisation time

Today I've been thinking. About how lucky I am, how much I'd lose if I lost the man in my life, what the rest of my life will be like if we stayed together. To put it bluntly, I don't want to be without him and I don't think he wants to be without me. I mean, yesterday we were watching Jeremy Kyle and a few people were on the stage discussing a kid which had no stability in its life, when he said that if "that" ever happened to us, at least he'd be home early. I asked him what he was talking about, and he just said "what they're talking about on tv". I assumed he was talking about children, and he was. I mentioned how his work was perfect, since I could put the child to school before going to teach, and then he'd be there to pick it up after school before I came home and look after it until I got home. Then it would be supper time and I could put them both to bed at the same time. It was just a joke from me, but then he asked how long my university course is. I told him it was 4 years and he just laughed and said that it might be before I've finished my course. That made me a little scared, if I'm really honest... Kids before I've finished university wasn't my idea of how things would be. I wanted to be married before I had children. In an ideal world, I wanted uni over, into a stable job, wedding, then a year before we had kids, but I guess we'd be cutting it fine if we did that, so maybe it'll be kids before the end of uni and married after I've finished. I suppose we'll work it all out, come time. It's just a bit scary.

However, I must struggle on, regardless of what's blighting my mind. My man's running about an hour late because he was talking to some of his workmates. Typical. But I don't blame him really. Some of them are leaving. One got sacked this morning, another walked out and another is leaving in a couple of weeks. Good grief...

Anyways I really need to start planning my birthday party, and get the whole lot sorted out since I really want a marquee and an amazing night where we party until dawn, laugh so much, have many, many photos to remember everything by and, most of all, tunes lasting right through the night. I'd also like to do something for Mum since it'll be on her birthday and we've never done anything so far to say thank you to the ICU in Aberdeen where they looked after her. So it's about time we did something. Or maybe the nurses at the Maternity Hospital in Aberdeen since they helped Mum when I was born after a long period of labour and not breathing. It's thanks to them that I'm here today, so maybe it's time I thanked them properly. So that's it. Aberdeen Maternity Hospital it is. Well, possibly. I'll discuss it with dad and Andrew since they both mean a lot to me and I value their opinion.

Talking about Andrew reminds me... I'm REALLY excited for Valentine's day, since I've never really had one before and it's all new to me. I honestly can't wait, but I don't know what I should get the man, if anything, or what to do, wear, anything! He's taking me out for dinner, which is still a very new thing to me, and I don't know what to expect. I'm just really excited for it and can't wait for it. Also, very intrigued as to what I might get. He's got a habit of totally surprising me with the odd random gift.

Anyways, off to get into bed and snuggle.

Night.

Dx