Finally.

At last, I've booked the accommodation for the Musselburgh Festival, held in Polmont. I can't wait! Not only is it a time to meet up with all our friends, but it's also a weekend away for us to spend some quality time together. It will also let us both have a good drink on the Saturday night after the competitions, and then once we get back to the digs, we can stick on the laptop and snuggle up to watch a film. It'll be really good, I think. It's something we really need to do.

On another subject, I had my first lesson with my new instructor and can I just say, WOW! What a difference. He's so good at pushing me forward in a way I know how to deal with. He gave me the confidence to just drive and make the right decisions, and if I couldn't then he helped me work out what was best to do. He helped me immensely and I'm glad to have booked another lesson with him. I'm looking forward to it already! In fact, I was buzzing before I even got out of his car. So much so, that I couldn't quite shut up about it for the rest of the evening. But personally, I think it's good to be enthusiastic about these kind of things, because if I'm not, then I won't put everything I have into it and I won't pass. But tally ho. This, alarmingly, is not the reason I came on here tonight.


The baby thing. I'm getting really scared. Is it normal to walk around the supermarket with your partner, and he's the one pointing out all the cute stuff and brings up the conversation every time? I don't mean "is it healthy", I mean is it right to do it now? We've only been together for a year, we're living at mine, we're not engaged, married and nor do we have plans to do either anytime soon. I'm also looking to get into university, so that essentially ties up my life for the next few years. Is a family something I can think about while I'm studying? Can it really work out, or would it be better to quit my studies if the inevitable was to happen? It's just that lately, it's been a really big topic that I've seen frequently occurring between us and it's starting to cause a bit of panic in my little brain.

I'm definitely not ready for the whole motherhood thing, and if you asked any of my friends how I am around children, they'd just look at you and then proceed to laugh until there was no air left in their lungs. That's how bad I am. However, I am much mother nurturing nowadays since I started looking after myself and my partner a bit better. This begs the question of whether I'd actually be ok looking after my own child, or would I be as bad as I've been with other people's little ones? I just don't know. I suppose the whole thing scares me, but at the same time it intrigues me and it's something I really, really want, and find myself wanting more every day. That in itself is a terrifying though.


By the way, have you noticed in this last post that I'm starting to sound a bit like Carrie Bradshaw?