Private School

When you think of private schools, you automatically think of posh kids, sipping champagne, discussing past holidays to far-off exotic lands, portraying the upper-class of Britain, and having exceptional manners. Right? Well, I'll let you in on a little secret about what goes on behind the closed gates of these places: they're nothing like you think.

Ok, that's not strictly true, but the students are as bad as the kids found in cities, standing by a bin of burning grannies, making cabernet from babies' blood. If not worse. They have no manners, and think they are better than the rest of humanity, simply because they have a little spare cash burning a hole in their father's back pockets.

On Saturday night, I was at one of these institutions, playing at their 6th Form Ball. All the "gentlemen" were in black tie or kilts, and the "ladies" were in ballgowns. Or near enough. The lads' kilts were not made to fit - either hanging too long, or cut too short - and they wore scruffy shoes. Not to mention the long, floppy hair that could have been doing with a good comb. Maybe even a good trim. If I had been the mother of any of the boys there, I'd have been mortified to let them buy anything that poorly made.

As for the girls, they were barely wearing anything. The dresses were skimpy, and one was a steel-boned corset, and the owner nearly fell out of it. Little wonder. One lassie did fall out. Right in front of the band. I couldn't hold in the laughter.

And then the manners. There was a severe lack of those. I've seen better etiquette during feeding time at the zoo. Seriously. All the students walked around, looking down their plastic noses at me, acting the part of the rich toff's kid, pretending to be better than me - a lowly musician. But, one problem. They all had drunken staggers. Yes, rich kids in these private schools lack the ability to hold their drink. How much does it take? 1 beer and they're anyones. And that's the heavy drinkers. With alcohol in their system, they were as common as cat's dirt. If you moved out of their way, the stuck up little f*ckers didn't say thank you or anything. What happened to men being gentlemen and holding doors open for you? I had several slammed in my face. To be frank, I was very unimpressed.

Private school education doesn't seem to be worth all the money spent. All they get out of it is how to be stuck up, how to make their hair look ridiculous, and how to treat the rest of society like scum. Their lack of common sense was astounding. I would have more in my little finger than they would have collectively in a group of a hundred.

Yeah, it wasn't a great night.

Stay tuned for the weekly update coming shortly.

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