"I must lose weight" I said as I held up my smalls - or larges, in my case - and stretched them out to see the fullness of my arse. These things were quite terrifying. I swear, I could have got two live hens in them, and they weren't little birds. More like midget turkeys, if you ask me, which you didn't, but I'll tell you anyway. This massive piece of shaped fabric, called girl-boxers, were huge. I'm appauled at myself. So that's it. I'm going to lose weight. No longer will I be susceptible to being called Mrs Hugepants, or any such name. No, the days of me being this size are officially over. Well, nearly, as Christmas is just around the corner and I do like to have a good day of feasting, which generally lasts 3 days due to the quantity of food I've prepared for a family who won't arrive, and fail to inform me. Typical.
Oh my. How could I be so rude? Here I am, telling you about my Christmas plans, and how big my knickers are, and you don't even know who I am or why I am here! Please, forgive me, readers. Call me Dawn - everyone else does. I'm your average Joanna, and my dream is the same as any other in the country, or most of them anyway: I want to lose weight. However, I'm not a stick-thin person saying that about myself. Those girls, who say "ooh I'm so fat, I need to go on a diet" when they have a figure most of the world would dream of having, just annoy me. There is NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU! I, however, am "clinically" obese - which means bugger all, if I'm honest. This BMI (body mass index) stuff just calculates you on your height and weight. It fails to take into account your bone structure, density, and actual muscle weight, so it isn't actually all that accurate. And I, for one, would prefer to have a bit of extra weight on me than be thin, exiguous, and struggle to support the weight of my own teeth in my head. Honestly, these girls look fragile, like the slightest thing could break them, snap off limbs and a sneezing fit would make them explode.
I'm so easily distracted. I keep going off on tangents from what I really want to say. But, such is life, dear readers. Congratulations for reaching this far, and I hope you'll read on. It might just be entertaining. Or stupid.
The reason for me doing this blog-thing is to share with you my progress in the "weightloss" front, and to support those of you with the same dream. I hope I can be a source of inspiration, or at least a source of entertainment. Maybe laughing might tone the stomach muscles better than a hundred sit-ups. Never know.
Anyway. Toodle-pip for now, all. I'm starting this officially in the new year, but up til then, I will be getting used to exercising (got to watch my spelling there. I might get confused between chasing demons and sweat out of my body!) and also working out what to eat all the time, and what I can only have in emergency situations, ie., when I get stressed, or upset, or worried, or bored,... This could be an interesting 2010!
Ciao! Dxxx
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